She’s Stalking Me – Help!

Dear Ms. A,

Hi.

I broke up with  my girlfriend a few months back because I can no longer stand her possessiveness. She gets jealous of everything and she wants me to tell her everything I am doing. I think that’s not right. I need some privacy too for myself. She always want to go with me wherever I go. I can no longer have time with my friends alone. She goes to my office and checks if I am there. I am not a kid to be checked on all the time.

After the break – up, I thought I was free from her but I was not. What she does is she keeps on following me. She suddenly shows up wherever I am. One time, I was at a bar having some drinks with my friends then she came and pretended as if she was still my girlfriend. She even asks my officemates if I am at the office and calls my parents if I went home at night. Worst she made a scene one time when I was out helping one of my girl friends shop a gift for her boyfriend. She made a scene at the department store and told my friend if she knows that she’s my girlfriend. When my friend tried to explain to her and tell her that I was only helping her she suddenly went in a frenzy and said things that really made me drag her out of the store.

This is the main reason why I broke up with her and I feel like that she does not understand that it is over. She keeps on acting as if I am still her boyfriend.

I just want her to stop doing all these. Can you help me?

Matt

Dear Matt,

Thanks for writing. You need to go out of your way and talk to her. Tell her that what was between you is over and that she has to stop what she’s doing. If she doesn’t listen, talk to her parents. Tell them your reason why you broke up with her and that their daughter should learn to accept this. Ask for their help. No one knows their daughter better than them.

Mean time try be friends with her and make her understand that. If she tries to act like you are still her boyfriend remind her. Learn how to say NO to her and be firm. This maybe one of the reasons why she keeps doing it her way because you don’t know how to say NO and you allowed her to do whatever she wants when you were still together.

Remember when you’re in a relationship you should always know when to say yes and when to say no and be firm with your decision. Now, if this doesn’t work, it’s no longer in your hands. Your ex will need some professional help.

Ms. A

Playing Hard to Get … Gotcha!

If you think only women flirts, THINK AGAIN! Men flirt as much as women do and how they love flirting. Looking macho and sexy for the girls to swoon on make them just feel great! But did you know that most men are more nervous in approaching women. Yes, that’s true. One big reason is when a woman approaches a man, it is hard for a man to let her down but a woman can always let a man down and say NO.

Hey! I’ve Got a Crush on You

Everything starts on having a crush which is often mistaken for love. You can’t get him out of your mind, you keep dreaming about him and your day is not complete without seeing him. When he notices you, oh… feels like heaven, right? Are you satisfied with exchanging looks and smiles? Of course, not! You should be going out with him, be his girlfriend and share moments of love together. Don’t rely on chances and sit on it. DO SOMETHING! Let him know, girl. It’s the 21st century and gone are the days when a woman sits and waits on a man.

I’ve Got You

What if he’s dating someone, what if he does not like me, or what if he turns me down? WHAT IF…? How will know if you don’t find out? HOW? FLIRT! Yes, flirt and let him know you exist. There is nothing wrong in flirting and doing it naturally will most likely get his attention. When he happens to look at you, smile and make an eye contact. Keep it that way. It’s a simple step to start getting his attention. Remember, curiosity kills the cat and he will surely approach you. When he does, don’t shy away and get nervous. Chill out and smile nicely. Make those small talks interesting every time you meet and act natural and he will keep on coming back to you for a little chat about anything and everything if he’s interested in you until those small talks turns to long conversations together, a walk in the park and your very first date. A small step is always a big leap.

You’re Mine Now

There’s no such thing as “playing hard to get” and did you know that “playing hard to get” is one way of flirting? Yeah, right! It’s an instinct that draws a person to another and if you haven’t notice it then it’s about time you do. Make him yours, if no one makes the move, who will? Who knows, he is waiting for you as well.

Get on your feet and make the move before someone else gets ahead. Falling in love takes time and it doesn’t happen overnight but when you do it is much greater than the fairy tales you ever read.

-thinkingpen-

Love Advice – I Want Out

Dear Ms. A,

I am into a relationship. I can say that my relationship with my boyfriend is still going fine but I want to get out. Yes, I still love him and he still feels the same way for me. Actually, nothing have changed and this is what’s bothering me. I can no longer feel the spark that used to be there. All I can think about is that we are not moving forward. I feel like we’re just one of those people which you can call “the happy couple” but the fact is everything had become familiar. The excitement is gone. It’s like everything had already been written. I want to break up with him. Simply put, I want out. My problem is how to tell him. He has not done anything wrong besides everything he does is for the good of our relationship. Another thing is our families expect that one day we will get married. But am not ready to marry someone who I think I love yet all these feelings of uncertainties of wanting to break up with him are there because I really don’t know if the love I have is still the same the way it was before. No, I am not in love with anyone nor am I looking forward of getting into another relationship. I just want to breath because I feel like I am bounded to him.

What should I do?

Girl in Confusion

Dear Girl in Confusion,

First, thank you for letter. My advice to you is to talk to your boyfriend. Tell him what you feel. Keep in mind that in a relationship you should be open with each other. Explain to him that you are in confusion and that the spark you were talking about is no longer there. I think it is time for you both to level up your relationship. Who knows, he may feel the same way. But if he still feels the same way just like before then tell him you want to have some air and go for a cool off.

Once you have done this, you can start moving on your own. See if there’s a difference. For all you know you’re just bored with the way your relationship is going. That’s why you’re looking for the spark. Allow yourself to miss him and see if you do and if you do that means you just want to  miss him the way you want him to miss you.

You know sometimes when everything gets too familiar you need to take some time off from each other. Just don’t stumble down and be swept by another man.

I hope this helps you.

Ms. A

Dating Advice – Getting to Know You

One of the dating advices you’ll get when you go on out a date with a  man  is to get to know him. Sometimes, I ask myself why? First, going out on a date does not mean you want to get into a relationship. There are a lot of people out there who goes out on a date especially men who does not really want to get tied up in a relationship. Second, when you go out on a date, there are many things two people can talk about which eventually leads knowing something about the other. I believe if only people will start thinking that going out on a date to enjoy themselves and have fun with someone like enjoying the dinner or the walk in the park without the interest of getting into a relationship is  much better. You don’t have to try harder getting to know the person. Actually, even if you’re not asking all these things about him or her will just come out naturally. Lastly, if you go out on a date with the interest of getting into a relationship you will lalways be putting your best foot forward. This will make everything superficial. You know why, because you try too hard to show the other what is good about you.

The best dating advice I think is to go out and enjoy the company of the other person. The magic of love will come out naturally. There’s actually no need to put your best foot forward to please the other person. Just be yourself. If he likes you he will definitely ask you out again. If he doesn’t it’s not your loss but his. Besides, you’ll just be trying harder to be your best. If you act naturally the way you are as person that is far better than showing him everything you think is good about you. Haven’t it crossed your mind that you need to know everything about each other. What I mean is the good and the bad. If only the good sides are coming out and later on, when you fall into the trap of getting into a relationship and you start seeing the bad side of him which you don’t really like, what happens? Suddenly you want to break up?

What I can tell you for my dating advice is be natural. Don’t ever think that going out on a date is getting into a relationship. There’s more than just getting into a relationship. There are responsibilities that goes with it. Do not conclude the date as being boyfriend or girlfriend in future. The best thing is for you to enjoy each others company and have fun. If love comes into the picture well and good. You know how good he can be and how bad he can be. You can assess yourself if he’s the person you want to live with for the rest of your life. If not, then you can always be friends and still go out and enjoy each others company.

The best thing about dating is you get to know a person and be friends with him. Don’t be like the others out there who always think that when they go out on a date they should have their best foot forward. Remember once you’re into the relationship getting out is entirely different. But if you try to go and be friends and see what he really is as person and you decide that you are better off as friends, you can still go out and have each others company. While the other side is getting into a relationship showing the best you’ve got, you both end up being uncomfortable because he thinks he found the qualities he’s looking for in a woman in you so he keeps on following you. This of course one day you’ll find annoying.

The best dating advice is enjoy your date, have fun, and be natural if you don’t end up together the time is worth it because you gained a friend.

- thinkingpen-

By Chance

by chance …
almost half past three in the afternoon
a simple hello
someone meeting some
‘til night came
a message sent
with a memory of a face
and not a grasp of the other

by chance …
two people met
no attraction
no nothing 
days passed
not even closer to friendship

by chance …
the line started
to burn
messages after messages
fights after fights
and love bloomed somehow

and by chance …
someone loving some
someone belonging to someone
beyond reasons
beautiful as it could be

by chance …
flowers bloom and
fate withers them
as autumn comes

and if by chance …
wishes come true
no love was bound
TO GIVE UP

-adrijahnne-

Silly Fights They Were

It started with what’s bothering me
Mistaken for money being beg
An AC broken down
Only to say
You wanted to play chess
Before you go to sleep
Pretending to be drunk
Thinking I do not care
Promises made
But still
The fight never ends.
 
Silly fights they were
One falling in love
The other never wanting to
And it was goodbye
A call on the phone
You asking for a kiss
Saying you were sick
Determined to keep my silence
You said I misunderstood
I stopped everything
‘til you called so angry
Thinking I don’t want to talk
And finally you got through
With anger and voice raised
Tears running down
On the other end of the line
And it ended with a kiss
And I love you
So wonderful.
 
Silly fights they were
A card sent
With the word “babay”?
Ended up with words of
go to hell!?
Lunatic, crazy, nuts, worthless and so on
Apologies sent
And we are one again.
 
Silly fights they were
That green-eyed monster
Swept over you
Was it the end?
NO! Crazy little things we do
Made us closer than before
 
Silly fights they were
And after every fight
The bond grows
by leaps and bounds.

-adrijahnne-

Unheard

you never looked back
‘coz you think
i’m fooling

you never saw
‘coz you think
i’m not there

you never believed
‘coz you think
it’s nonsense

you never heard
‘coz you think
it’s not true

you never loved
‘coz you think
i never loved you

but if …
you only try
to look back
to see
to hear
and love me then

then you’ll realize
that i’m not fooling
it has sense
it’s true
i’m there
and i loved you

-adrijahnne-